Why adults date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with evils, cause misery, and other problems. Also you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, finances, age difference, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married women.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I suppose mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the wish on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anybody else? You will need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your money are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.